Friday, 14th May 2021

Woman who doesn't carry a bottle of water everywhere still alive

A WOMAN who left the house without taking any water provisions has survived her journey in perfect health.

Helen Archer amazed onlookers by carrying neither a reusable water bottle or a half-litre of Evian on her recent trip to a post office, and by getting there and back without any hydration whatsoever.

She explained: “It all started when I left my bottle of Volvic on a train and was forced to go two hours without a single drop of water.

“It was then I realised that I was one of those rare women, perhaps one in ten million, who was able to get through an entire afternoon without frantically swigging water.

“It’s great, because now I can get through a whole ten minutes without needing a piss.”

Dr Julian Cook said: “I haven’t seen anything like this since the 1990s, when somehow everyone managed to survive without a water-filled reusable drinking bottle.

“This woman is either a medical marvel or the eight glasses of water a day thing is bullshit.”