WOMEN should have the right to exaggerate minor colds and be mocked for it just the same as men, campaigners have claimed.
While men take it for granted that they can play up symptoms of illness to solicit extra sympathy, then have the piss ripped by anyone who is in proximity of their childish whining, women are fighting hard for the right to be equally as lame.
Campaigner Donna Sheridan said: “The struggle for equality doesn’t stop at pay or parenting, it needs to reach every part of our lives. This includes the right to lie about snivelling into tissues and watching Narcos whilst feeling excessively sorry for ourselves.
“And, of course, we don’t expect any special dispensation as women so we also want to be ridiculed and accused of being liars and malingerers.
“If we display symptoms any less serious than bleeding from an artery or not having a pulse, we will expect to be absolutely slated.”
Professor Henry Brubaker from the Institute for Studies said: “As if being ill wasn’t unpleasant enough, people like to add to the misery by making each other feel guilty if they take one day off from their miserable, soul-sapping jobs.
“Human beings really are the most tedious idiots.”