Dog thinks dream about chasing rabbits must have deeper meaning

A DOG believes his dream about chasing rabbits must have some sort of deep hidden meaning.

Dog Stephen Malley had the vivid dream last night, during which his legs flailed wildly as he imagined being in a field with some rabbits, and then chasing them around for a bit.

Malley said: “What is the symbolism of those rabbits? Perhaps they reflect some sort of repressed puppyhood memory, or some sort of Freudian angst about losing my testicles.

“I’ve had this dream several times now. There’s definitely some deep stuff going on.”

Malley also described another recurring dream where he goes into a room which contains big baskets of chocolate and his other favourite treats, and then he eats them all.

He said: “Maybe the chocolate represents my mother, who I never really knew. Also I have this other dream about a big bone that is very juicy, then I wake up with slobber all over the manky bean bag I sleep on.

“Truly the workings of my dog mind have many deep and unexplored layers.”

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May exercises power with sweeping changes to cabinet's lunchtime seating plan

THERESA May has flexed her political muscle by imposing a radical new lunchtime seating plan on her cabinet. 

The parliamentary canteen’s red tables, a pair of which form a hexagon when pushed together, now have an entirely new layout putting Brexiters next to Remainers.

A cabinet insider said: “Last year we were allowed to sit where they liked because none of the girls want to be with Boris and everyone hates seeing Gove eat, but she’s asserted her authority.

“Justine Greening’s bitchy little clique’s been broken up, Hammond’s not allowed to bring in his own fancy continental food, and David Davis can’t reserve a seat for Rees-Mogg.

“We’ll all just ignore it after the first day, of course, and go back to where we were before.

“Poor cow. She’s only done it because she’s always sat on her own.”