Women go off sex because it is silly

WOMEN lose interest in sex during long-term relationships because the whole thing is just silly, a survey has found. 

More than a third of women surveyed said that they had sex less frequently because the whole thing was a lot of ridiculous nonsense that leaves all parties looking undignified.

Eleanor Shaw, aged 37, said: “It was alright when we were younger and had no money. But now we’ve got Netflix.

“It’s embarrassing to be naked, it’s embarrassing to be doing all that huffing and puffing about for the sake of one frankly unimpressive penis, and it’s even more embarrassing that I enjoy it.

“I mean, I’m a serious woman. I wear knit dresses and chair marketing meetings. I can’t be getting all worked up about something so laughably unsophisticated as all that.

“When I was 18, I thought going to an Ibiza foam party in a nightclub called Zanzibar’s was fun. Now it’d be stupid. Sex is no different.”