Thursday, 15th April 2021

Young people should only get vaccine if they've bought a house, say boomers

WELL-OFF baby boomers have agreed that Covid vaccinations should be restricted to property owners, to incentivise the young. 

The over-55s, who get vaccinated this month, believe that leaving anyone from Generation X downwards without protection against coronavirus will concentrate their minds on what is important: home ownership.

Retired accountant Norman Steele said: “We’re not being selfish. We’re being prudent sensible and thinking of what’s in the youngsters best interests.

“What’s life worth living for if you haven’t got a mortgage? I fought in the war. Not the actual war, I’m referring to the house-buying war of the 1980s. I got gazumped twice, but we just got on with things then.

“All today’s young people are contributing to society is woke rubbish. They need some skin in the game. They can have their vaccines when they’ve earned them.”

Steele’s wife Judy said: “I casually voted for Brexit and the Tories, so don’t expect any empathy for other people from me. Although if they change the triple-lock pension I’ll be screaming blue murder.”

Millennial Josh Hudson said: “It sounds kind of unfair to not give us our jabs, but I’ve almost saved up a deposit so f**k everyone else. I’m in.”