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Robbie Orders Britain: Strip Down To Your Undies

BRITIAN will arrive at work this morning dressed in nothing but its underpants, following the latest decree from Robbie Williams.

His Magnificence issued the command yesterday morning after he became momentarily bored while taking a bath.

His official spokesman said the underpants rule is in place until further notice, although shoes and umbrellas will be allowed in the event of bad weather.

He added: "Robbie would really like to see some thongs, some novelty pants and some great big nappies, so let's not disappoint him."

With Robbie now controlling every aspect of British society, opinion is divided between those who think this a great thing and those who think it is an absolutely brilliant thing.

Citizens are already looking forward to driving on the right on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, while plumbers are working overtime after Robbie ordered hot water to come out of the cold taps and vice versa.

There has also been universal praise for Robbie's introduction of 40ft high screens on every street corner showing Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway 24 hours a day.

Meanwhile all citizens now have Boomer, the Port Vale FC mascot, tattooed onto their left buttock. Anyone who tries to remove the tattoo will be dealt with in the usual way by being taken to Robbie's castle and fired from a giant cannon.

Prime minister Gordon Brown said: "It's important that Robbie is able to express himself in this way.

"He's a special boy and the last thing we want is for him to get all depressed and fat again."