NINE out of ten holiday photos will be ruined by some fat-headed arsewit wandering into the frame, it has been confirmed.
Research has shown that the majority of photographs, whether of picturesque ruins, gorgeous sunsets or simply families at play, also included some nonplussed knobhead carrying a beach ball.
Photographer Tom Logan said: “On a busy Algrave beach you can understand why every picture is dominated by total strangers pulling their trunks out of their bumcracks, but it’s not just there.
“I’ve got pictures of Machu Picchu featuring some twat in a baseball cap, haunting shots of Angkor Wat where the only thing you notice is the obese dickhead with a plastic 7-11 bag, and images of the South Georgia glaciers complete with a slack-jawed wankstain being surprised at a penguin.
“I had a lovely time in Reykjavik recently, but when I scanned through several hundred images all I saw were fat-headed cretins gawping at the camera as if they’d never seen one before.
“You’d think it was the fucknut capital of the world. Which it isn’t, it’s really beautiful.”