Arm everyone with machine guns, say unspeakable bastards

EVERY American should be given an automatic weapon, according to the country’s bastard pieces of shit.

Gun control activists and right-wing politicians responded to America’s latest massacre by being their usual horrific selves.

Republicans reckoned the absolute best thing was for America to have even more guns and then refused to admit they were festering turds who should be made to say sorry forever.

Meanwhile the NRA insisted it was gun control supporters who had ‘blood on their hands’ in a move psychiatrists said was either pathologically sadistic or some form of Tourettes Syndrome.

But Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Nope, they really are just horrendous bastards who drink from an open sewer and then breathe it over everyone.”

He added: “I like it when they argue they need assault weapons to protect themselves from the ‘tyranny of their own government’.

“The American government has aircraft carriers. Good luck with that.”