AUSTRALIA suddenly went all nancy last night after a chef said a dirty word on television.
The country, which has built a worldwide reputation for nauseating vulgarity, came over all delicate and had to lie down following Gordon Ramsay's latest use of the word 'fuck'.
Senator Cory Bernardi told the Australian parliament: "Mother and I had just watched a fascinating documentary about butterflies.
"I was changing channels, looking for Little House on the Prairie, when I came across this dirty foul-mouthed brute.
"I said to mother, I said, 'don't you listen to him dear, he's a filthy boy and he'll have to answer to Jesus'.
"Poor mother – I had to make a fresh pot of tea otherwise she'd have fainted dead away."
Senator Bernardi then loosened his trousers, broke wind and urinated onto the back of prime minister Kevin Rudd's head.
It is the first time the issue of swearing on television has been raised in the Australian parliament since the infamous 'c**t' episode of The Sullivans in 1979.