WAITERS across Europe have agreed that there is no need for holidaying Britons to dumbly point at menus because they are always having chips.
Following a survey showing more than half of Brits desperately point to menus because they are fearful of being served fried octopus balls, restaurant staff have said there is no need to tax their overheated brains even slightly.
Waiter Rui Tavares in Portugal said: “We know which ones you are – wearing the Manchester City away shirts, presumably because you are not at home – and we know what you want.
“We are only having a little fun when we suggest the clams or the wine-cooked goat. We only want to see you go white beneath the red.
“Brits do not even get the real menu. There is a special one, like for children, but with fewer bold flavours that might upset them.”
Holidaymaker Wayne Hayes said: “I’ll be glad to get home tomorrow. They don’t do the chips right.”