BRITONS in Spain are to fight 45-degree heatwaves by drinking up to 45 pints a day.
The Cerebus heatwave in Europe is expected to hit British holidaymakers, with their pale flesh and refusal to make any accommodations for hot weather whatsoever except a bucket hat, especially hard.
Norman Steele said: “We didn’t come to Malaga to sit inside with the aircon on. And I’m not buggering about with that factor 50 neither. When I was a kid it only went up to 12.
“So we’ll be by the pool as per and showing the Spanish how to battle climate change the British way: with lager.
“It can’t be dehydrating, because it’s weak as piss, and if you keep at it then you won’t even feel the sunburn until the next morning when you scream when you leap in the pool.
“How do you think the Crusaders got through the heat of the Holy Lands in all their armour? They were properly beered up. You can see the cans dangling from their saddles in their tapestries.”
Sardinian holidaymaker Susan Traherne said: “Yes, but you see we’re middle-class and don’t drink lager. I suppose it’ll have to be eight bottles of wine a day.”
