PRESIDENT Xi Jinping’s friendship with David Cameron has led to a surge in Chinese demand for our public school idiots.
Many Chinese now want to try socialising with upper class English morons, or keeping one as a pet.
Office manager Yao Chung said: “Luckily I found a company online that rents them out, and two days later an absolute arse called Hector arrived.
“He spends most of his time on the phone to something called Seb about women he would like to ‘boff’.”
Fashion designer Suki Haung said: “I’ve bought one called Theo who’s convinced he’ll be prime minister one day because he’s ‘big in Oxford University politics’.
“My friends love coming round to listen to his stories about his raucous Oxford dining club, the Roast Beef Assassins. It’s horrible yet fascinating.”
Old Etonian Denys Finch Hatton said: “Renting yourself out to the Chinese is an excellent career opportunity if you’re terribly posh but don’t fancy the City, the Household Cavalry or being a newspaper columnist.”