Clinton in narrow victory over deranged baboon

HILLARY Clinton remained on course for the White House despite an unconvincing debate victory over a crazed baboon.

The Democratic presidential candidate had been expected to ‘seal the deal’ at last night’s event, but struggled against the screeching ape and its strategy of flaring its nostrils and displaying its crimson buttocks.

While Clinton was once again forced to address the ‘deleted emails’ scandal, the baboon spent the early part of the debate clambering over the audience and attempting to grope women.

The ape returned to the stage and sat glowering at Clinton and banging its fists on the floor. It then screamed “eeeek! eeeek! eeeek!” when she attempted to set out her federal tax policy.

US political analyst, Bill McKay, said: “Clinton will be frustrated, but at the same time the debate will have had little impact on those Americans who actively want to vote for a deranged baboon.”