EU prepares next lovely big shit sandwich

THE EU is ready to move on to the second of the excrement-based sandwiches it has prepared for the UK, it has emerged. 

After four months of British negotiators refusing to consume their dung starter until they found out what their main was, a few mouthfuls have been choked down and the next course has been theatrically revealed.

Negotiator Michel Barnier said: “Ta-dah! Look, this one has a little sucre sprinkled on.

“What? I thought you were eager to discuss trade. You said this was the one you were looking forward to. Go on, take a bite.

“Did you think that this would be the bit where you got everything you wanted? Did you not read the menu? Do you not know what ‘merde’ means? What about ‘scheisse’?

“Come on. Plenty left. Don’t you want to know what is for dessert?”

David Davis said: “The British public have overwhelmingly voted to eat shit, and we’re determined to make a success of it.”