THE EU has announced that whatever it is if it makes Britain f**k off then it is worth it.
A new offer from the EU which Britain will reject to prove some kind of arsehole point has seen the entire continent united in its desire to have nothing more to do with us.
European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen said: “We have made a diplomatic offer, but the undiplomatic version is would you please just f**k off and leave us alone?
“Every day some new bullshit. You want our lorry drivers back. It’s not fair we’re making you follow regulations that you yourselves set. Lord Frost wants a new protocol so he can call that unfair too.
“You accuse us of ganging up on you. We’re in a f**king union, dipshits. It’s basically a gang where we wrote down the rules. Of course you’re on your own.
“We’d dig a moat between you and us except there’s already one there and it makes piss-all difference because we still hear you whining that it’s unfair all day all night. For Christ’s sake will you just f**king go away?”
Lord Frost said: “I’m afraid we need a big fight with you so Boris can win next year’s snap election. So it doesn’t really matter what you say. Sorry.”