You are your endorsements: a LinkedIn user's guide to life

LOVE the thrill of a mutual connection? Entrepreneur and leadership yogi Bill McKay explains how to live through LinkedIn.

You are your endorsements

People measure their self worth in a variety of ways. How much do I weigh? Where do I live? How many kids do I have? I prefer to measure mine by the endorsements I get from former colleagues. When a manager I had ten years ago says I’m proficient in Excel, that’s what really defines me.

See everything as a CV-booster

We all face challenges in our daily life, but it’s important to see them in a LinkedIn context. Shouting at a barista when they get your coffee order wrong shows that you’re able to be assertive. Planning a child’s birthday party is event management. Losing a grandparent gives you resilience, which recruiters absolutely love to see.

Inspirational quotes are everything

‘If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best’. When Martin Luther King said that all those years ago, he probably never realised what an impact it would have on the landscape of our newsfeeds. Random quotes are a fantastic way to pretend you are full of knowledge and wisdom, when really you’re a vacuous idiot.

Your network is everywhere

Some people only add colleagues or close personal friends to their network – not me. I know that business opportunities can stem from anywhere. Last week, I asked a teenager running a bake sale at a local car boot sale to add me on LinkedIn so we could discuss taking it national. That’s the kind of level-headed business decision you’d see on The Apprentice.

Never forget where you came from

When I’m flying high, I remember to scroll down to the bottom of the page and reflect on my paper round in 1982 – it gave me the tenacity and drive to succeed that I still have today. I try not to dwell on the fact that I’d rather be trudging around in the rain pushing the local rag through letterboxes than doing my current job. That’s not the LinkedIn way.

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Teenage boy outlines plan to outgrow school uniform by half-term

A TEENAGE boy has announced his intention to have a growth spurt that will render his school uniform redundant by half-term.

Fourteen year-old Nathan Muir will produce gallons of growth hormone with the result that his clothing will look ridiculously small, and his increasingly Hobbit-like feet will split any shoe if forced into one.

Nathan’s mum Susan said: “I know it’s a natural part of growing up, but I really hope Nathan’s limbs and head get back into proportion with the rest of his body because at the moment he, frankly, looks weird.

“He’s only had that uniform for five weeks and is already tearing the seams of it like the Incredible Hulk, if the Hulk was particularly gangly and wore too much CK One Shock.

“At the rate Nathan is growing he’ll need a new uniform every term and I’m not made of money, despite his firm belief that I’m a kitchen combined with a cash machine, rather than a human being.

“If it wasn’t so cold I’d stop buying shoes and paint his feet black.”