Fascism crushed by 0.6 percent

AUSTRIAN voters have rejected fascism by a landslide margin of over half a percent.

Austria, a country of 8.5 million people, turned out en masse to deliver a crushing blow to the far-right Freedom Party of Norbert Hofer, who limped home a whole 31,000 votes behind his Green Party opponent.

Experts believe that the scale of the victory, which saw Hofer supported by a mere 49.7% of Austrians, demonstrates that the far right poses no danger whatsoever to mainstream parties.

Political analyst Emma Bradford said: “This comprehensive defeat proves that fascism can never win, at least once postal votes are taken into account.

“Inflammatory, anti-immigrant rhetoric will get you nowhere in this day and age, certainly not within a whisker of running a country.

“I’m confident that the millions of angry, disenfranchised people who supported a gun-wielding xenophobe will quietly accept this result and get on with their lives.”

Freedom Party supporter Josef Leitner said: “I’m not a Nazi, but what we need is a party that cares about social issues but will also defend the nation. I suppose you might call it national socialism.”

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Man who has never left Huddersfield desperate for Britain to leave the EU

A MAN who has never left his home town of Huddersfield is desperate for Britain to leave the EU, it has emerged.

Norman Steele, 55, is convinced that Britain is better off out of a place he has never been to and safe from immigrants he has never spoken to.

He said: “I made my mind up to spend my entire life in Huddersfield and I was damn right about that so why wouldn’t I be right about this?

“I don’t need to try lasagne to know hot pot’s better, simple as that.”

Steele added: “It’s all about Brussels. It’s all a massive boys’ club down there, where they gather in these big strange buildings and they’re all just in it to further their own careers.

“It’s not like the local Freemasons, which I’m a proud member of. It’s not like that in the least.”