Friday, 29th May 2020

Governments desperate to find cure for coronavirus before cure for capitalism discovered

GOVERNMENTS globally are rushing to discover a cure and vaccine for COVID-19 before they accidentally find a cure for capitalism. 

The pandemic is forcing countries around the world to face a number of difficult questions, of which capitalism appears to be the answer to none.

Denys Finch Hatton of the International Monetary Fund said: “The actions we are taking to fight this virus – high unemployment funds, housing the homeless, forgiving billions in public debt – are also solving the problems of the free market, which must not happen.

“In America it’s even worse. They are having to stop people losing their houses for getting ill. What if this lasts for years? It could change everything.

“We need a vaccine, and we need to be able to make money off it, and everyone to have to work to be able to keep vaccinated, and we will administer the funds.”

Sovereign wealth fund manager Martin Bishop said: “At the end of this, I need to be 30 per cent richer or it’s been a waste of time.”