IF Trump has somehow helped to bring peace to Ukraine you might be forced to reevaluate your view of him. If that happens, here’s how to remember he’s still a colossal dickhead.
Remember his other political achievements
Even if Trump miraculously brokers a peace between Ukraine and Russia, it’ll be a terrible deal that gives Putin everything he originally wanted anyway. This’ll put it on a par with the president’s litany of bullshit accomplishments during his time in office, such as renaming the Gulf of Mexico, rallying ICE to detain innocents, pardoning war criminals, and inciting an insurrection. And he’s still got nearly four years to surpass himself.
Read his insane outbursts on Truth Social
Social media was already a nightmarish hellscape to begin with. But to see deranged statuses in their purest form, head over to Trump’s account on Truth Social. There you’ll see the leader of the free world issuing his bonkers decrees to his MAGA acolytes in SPORADIC CAPITALS to capture their moronic attention. It’s grimly amusing until you remember he could launch nukes whenever he likes.
Dip into his vast archive of twattery
This could take a while as there is a lot to sift through. There’s the pussy-grabbing scandal of the 2016 election race, his mocking of the disabled, his decision to slash foreign aid, his bizarre decision to wear ties that are taped together, the despotic way he interacts with journalists, and that time he awkwardly stood in front of the Queen. And that’s before you even remember Stormy Daniels.
Google a picture of his face
Attacks on a person’s physical appearance are reprehensible. However, every rule has an exception, and Donald Trump is that caveat. Society appears to be in agreement that the Wotsit-complexioned weirdo with the piss-coloured candyfloss hair is fair game, with his tiny hands that lend themselves to puerile punchlines. It’s impossible to bring up his face on an image search and not think: this guy’s a twat.
Look into the Epstein files
The president’s connection to child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein has shaken even his most hardcore supporters. If you’re still borderline on whether Trump’s a total dick or not, just remember that for him, securing peace is just a welcome distraction from the Epstein files, which always seem to make him uncharacteristically nervous in interviews. At the moment it couldn’t be more suspicious if he was running around screaming: ‘For God’s sake, don’t look in the files!’
