DONALD Trump has announced that Harry and Meghan have asked him to perform a medley of lounge classics at their upcoming nuptials.
The 71-year old confirmed the Royal Family had declared their longstanding admiration for him, and had admitted that only he was capable of entertaining their guests.
Trump said: “I sing constantly. I have the best singing voice, ask anyone. They’ll tell you that I have one of the finest singing voices of all time.
“And the royals, they’ve always been big fans of mine. The queen, she asked me what the secret of my success was. I think she’s a little jealous of me, actually.
“I guess the TV lady and the ginger guy knew all about my high-class voice, and I was like, sure, I’ll sing for you. They said they’d cancel the wedding if I said no.
“I’ll do some Dean Martin, some Belafonte, and then I’ll improvise, because I’m a naturally gifted genius. I’ll think I’ll do the ceremony for them too. I’ll be much better than some archbishop loser.”
A spokesman for the royal family said: “If he really wants to, he can sing at Eugenie’s.”