Japan To Offer Free Whaling Lessons

JAPAN is offering free whaling lessons and discounts on harpoons in a bid to encourage more people to take up its favourite leisure pursuit.

Kako the Sperm Whale is the evil villain in popular cartoon 'Shenzo Super Bang-Bang Squad'

Kenji Katakuri, the minister for sport, said that too many people criticised whaling without experiencing the sheer enjoyment of hunting and killing a whale themselves.

He said: “We take you out on boat, one time, chase big fish.We shoot it with sharp stick, you give it try, you never know, you might find you enjoy it.

“We have big laugh together, cutty up fish, eat whale burger on deck. So why you chase our boats and throw smelly liquid at us when we just trying to enjoy ourselves?”

Mr Katakuri said that anyone who took up the offer of one free whaling lesson would get the next two at half price, and 50% off an entry-level harpoon like the Nike Whalinator 2000.

He added: “That saving of nearly £250, plus we offer no deposit and nothing to pay for three years. It better deal than DFS. Plus we let you shoot penguin if you good.”

Meanwhile TV chef Delia Smith has thrown her weight behind the Japanese campaign producing a series of recipes books including How to Cook Whale, Whale for One and Delia's Whaley Christmas.