Kim Jong-un 'was injured juggling skyscrapers'

NORTH Korea has confirmed that its Supreme Leader suffered a minor foot injury after dropping an 88-storey building.

Kim Jong-un was apparently juggling five of the buildings, normally luxury hotels for Western observers hoping to learn from North Korea’s success, when one slipped from his grasp.

The leader admitted performing his godlike feat of strength to impress a dragon.

A spokesman for the Workers’ Party of Korea said: “He is currently resting the foot while his illustrious ancestors heal it with rainbows and amusing himself by spotting every character in a Where’s Wally book without even opening it.”

Western claims that Kim Jong-un’s foot woes were caused by cheese-related weight gain have been fiercely denied.

The spokesman said: “How could the supreme leader be hurt by cheese, when he invented it?”

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Stylish office still essentially a prison

‘COOL’ design-conscious offices are really just light, airy prisons, according to workers.

Marketing assistant Tom Booker who works at Red Dot Media which has big windows and a ping-pong table said: “All that fancy shit wears thin pretty quickly.

“Then you realise you’re still just in a massive building with a bunch of tossers, slaving away for the benefit of the shareholders. Every day, forever, like any job.

“There’s only so much ping-pong a person wants to play.”

Emma Bradford, who works at an office which won a design award for its warm textured feel, said: “Even the toilets have a stylish modernist feel, which I never fail to notice when I’m in there crying every lunchtime.”

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