THE world's 800 million lesbians are to club together and set up their own country.
They are currently scouting locations in Europe and South America where they hope to establish the People's Republic of Lesbia.
The move follows legal action by the Greek island of Lesbos who claim only their lesbians should be allowed to call themselves Lesbians, and not because they are lesbians, but because they are Lesbians.
A spokesman for Martina Navratilova, the reigning Grand High Lesbian, said: "Lesbia is going to be a really lovely place.
"There will be no need for clothes, and if two girls want to get into a big bath of custard in the middle of the town square and have a bit of tumble then that's cool.
"Apart from that it will be a daily routine of pillow fights, communal showers and rubbing oil into each other's buttocks."
Dimitri Kiriakos, the governor of Lesbos, said: "How can they be Lesbian? I Lesbian, my wife Lesbian, both my sons Lesbian and my cat Lesbian. Even Vince, the local lesbian, is Lesbian."
The International Council of Lesbians decided not to fight the latest legal challenge after their expensive and unsuccessful battle with Mary Poppins star Dick Van Dyke.