Lightweight American politician didn’t even have sex with dead goat

BRITONS have expressed surprise after a US politician killed a goat and drank its blood without also having sex with it.

Florida senate candidate Augustus Sol Invictus slew the animal as part of a pagan ceremony but shamefully did not then attempt to put his penis in it.

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford, from Worcester, said: “That is so typical of Americans and their namby-pamby attitude.

“They can only drink about two pints of weak lager before they collapse in a heap, and when they slaughter animals in a ritualised context they don’t even sexually defile the carcass.

“Cameron is a twat but at least he follows through on things.”

Swindon-based bricklayer Wayne Hayes said: “I’ve never felt compelled to kill a goat and drink its blood but if I did I would definitely shag it too.

“I mean you might as well.”