Moderate Saudi prince to pardon female hit and run victims

PRINCE Muhammad of Saudi Arabia was praised by the international community after pledging to release more than 20 percent of his country’s female hit and run victims.

In a major, progressive reform, around 300 women who have been hit by cars will be freed from prison.

A Saudi government spokesman said: “His gracious highness, in his wisdom, will grant clemency to these whores of the road. He bestows great mercy, even though they have indulged in shameful contact with a car who is not a male relative.”

In Saudi Arabia it is illegal for a woman to be hit by a car, a bus or a motorhome. If she dies of her injuries she could face up to 18 years in jail.

Along with hit and run victims, the prince is expected to pardon women who are unable to cook fish and women who have been attacked by leopards.

Foreign secretary Boris Johnson said: “The prince’s extraordinary gesture vindicates Britain’s policy of inserting our noses directly into their rectums, while selling them the world’s finest, hand-built killing machines.”