Non-conformist nutter is pro-EU

A CONSPIRACY theorist, UFO nut and street-ranter has surprised everyone by being a fervent supporter of the In campaign. 

Nathan Muir of Norwich, who presents a weekly podcast about lost Nazi gold, the prophecies of Nostradamus and white genocide, has defied convention by believing the UK’s interests are best served by staying in the world’s largest trading bloc.

Colleague Tom Logan, who claims this reality is a computer simulation, said: “He’s shocked us all.

“The Atlantis lads, the psychics, the 9/11 truthers and the flat-earthers all have their odd ideas now and then, but Brexit is the one thing we’re all solidly rabid on.

“My only thought is he must have got caught by a chemtrail without his foil-lined headgear. It happens.”

Muir said: “I’m furiously writing pro-EU essays in comments sections with randomly capitalisation, no punctuation and packed with obscure, unsettling references.

“Gonna change some minds.”

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Girlfriend’s best friend stops liking status updates

A MAN is concerned that his girlfriend’s best friend has stopped liking his status updates on Facebook.

Tom Booker’s girlfriend Emma’s best friend, Donna Sheridan, had always liked pretty much everything he put up but recently this had stopped.

He said: “Donna’s still active on Facebook. I know that for a fact. Actually she shared some profound lyrics from the band Train only a few days ago.

“She’s just stopped liking my stuff. I’m no data analyst but I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of something to come.

“Something I’m not going to like very much.

Sheridan said: “Tom’s just being paranoid. Emma isn’t interested in Stephen from her work at all.

“No, he did, Tom mentioned Stephen from her work. I’m sure he did.”