FORMER US Secretary of State Colin Powell last night reassured white voters that Barak Obama's Oval Office will not be filled with the thick fug of ganja cigarettes.
The retired four star general insisted Obama could also be trusted not to steal anything from the executive mansion.
Powell's intervention is expected to reassure middle America that Obama has a strong father figure in his life who will try to get down to the White House at least every other weekend.
The former chairman of the joint chiefs of staff said: "Obama's a good boy. He ain't gonna steal nothin' from no Oval Office. Yessir.
"I told him, 'you smoke them reefer cigarettes and the police is gonna have a fine time with you. A fine time'.
"I said, 'I don't wanna see you sittin' on the steps of no White House, gettin' toasted and hollerin' at all them young women. I will give you a righteous ass whuppin'. You can count on that'."
Republican John McCain said he respected the decision, adding that Powell was a wise man who had been carrying his golf clubs for more than 25 years.
But Lyle Logan, a 59 year-old white voter from Kentucky, said: "How'd that niggra git to be a general anyhow?"