People looking for leader of West choosing between Trudeau and Merkel but definitely not May

PEOPLE looking for a new leader of the western world are eyeing up Justin Trudeau and Angela Merkel and dismissing Theresa May without a second thought.

Since the post became vacant four weeks ago, anxious Europeans and North Americans have been impressed by how the Canadian prime minister and German chancellor have defended western values and realised that Britain’s prime minister is rubbish at it.

Johanna DeVries, from Amsterdam, said: “We do need someone who can defend and articulate our core beliefs. Pandering to arseholes is not one of them.”

She added: “Ivanka Trump and the Duchess of Cambridge are clearly opting for Trudeau, but I like that Frau Merkel will tell Putin he’s a horse’s cock – and do it in fluent Russian.”

Tom Logan, from Peterborough, said: “Justin Trudeau is young and progressive, yet pragmatic. Plus, I saw a photo of him balancing his entire body weight on a desk in some sort of exotic yoga position.

“Maybe Theresa May could have a go at that?”