Shopper who’s never been to Waitrose still names it as her favourite supermarket

A WOMAN who has never visited a Waitrose still claimed it was her favourite supermarket in a consumer survey, she has admitted. 

Eleanor Shaw, from Stafford, chose the top-end supermarket because everything she has heard about it fits perfectly with the person she aspires to be.

She said: “Well I could hardly say Asda.

“Waitrose has that lovely green logo, they have all the ingredients for every Nigel Slater recipe and coffee’s free in the cafe. Plus, it’s just better isn’t it? Nicer. You don’t get those ‘types’.

“I’ve not been because the nearest one’s 40 minutes away but I don’t think that stops me being a Waitrose woman at heart. It’s just a temporary geographical issue.”

She added: “One day I’ll go and it’ll be as if we’ve always known each other. Like soulmates, but with a shop.”

Later that day, Shaw visited the Waitrose online shopping experience and said: “Three quid for cherry tomatoes? Go fuck yourselves.”

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Judges 'undermining the constitutional role of tabloids'

BRITAIN’S judiciary is threatening the ancient constitutional position of tabloid newspapers, experts have claimed.

Sun editor Tony Gallagher has hit out at politicians for their ‘half-hearted’ backing of the tabloids when judges make decisions that threaten their interests.

He added: “Our constitutional role is to choose the prime minister, decide when Britain goes to war and withdraw the country from the European Union.

“But still these unelected elitists, on six figure salaries plus expenses, try to block policies overwhelmingly backed by not just ourselves but the Daily Mail and Her Majesty’s Daily Express

“And don’t forget, as editor of the Sun I am also the Lord High Chamberlain of the Mob.” 

Gallagher added: “Rupert Murdoch? No, don’t think I’ve heard the name. He owns this newspaper? I honestly did not know that.”