FOLLOWING the deaths of geckos on its satellite, Russia is to send more unappealing species on one-way space journeys.
The Russian space agency confirmed plans to send spiders, slugs, rats and woodlice into the stratosphere, because if it was kittens or monkeys everyone would go mental.
A spokesman said: Theyll definitely die horrendous deaths, but well get some interesting data out of it and nobody at home will really be that bothered.
We probably wont even bother to strap them in for lift off, its not worth the hassle.
Rat Tom Booker said: If I get sent into space I plan to survive, crash-land on a planet with a breathable atmosphere, build a galactic empire then return to Earth and enslave humanity.