SCOTLAND has blamed England for being bad at the one thing it is supposed to be good at it.
As Scotland failed to make the top five in the world whisky championships, the nation said England had been sneaking around, doing horrible, English things in the middle of the night.
Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s deputy first minister, said: “What did you do to our whisky? Did you pee in it, you bunch of racists?
“If we had voted for independence our whisky would be amazing. Especially the stuff we made 18 years ago.”
She added: “Japanese whisky is so smooth because they no longer have to kowtow to their Chinese colonial masters. Or was it the other way around?”
Sturgeon said the best way for Scotland to combat English whisky sabotage was to become more argumentative.