BRITAIN is pinning its economic hopes on a record haul of grade-A heroin from the Tower of London.
Visitors have flocked to see the flood of red poppies in the moat around the Tower, marvelling at how much raw opium they will produce.
Economist Martin Bishop said: “The combination of unseasonably warm weather and plenty of rain should mean a smack bonanza.
“Buckingham Palace will take 20 per cent, but what’s left can pay down the deficit or be used by George Osborne to fund a pre-election tax cut.”
Meanwhile, London mayor Boris Johnson has demanded at least 20 percent of the smack funds to pay for Crossrail, while tube drivers have offered to distribute the drugs in lieu of a pay rise.
Bishop added: “And if all this was legal we’d make even more because we wouldn’t have to bribe the cops.”