Still another 100 days until end of dreary Scottish argument

THE utterly hellish argument about what happens to Scotland still has another 100 days to go, it has been confirmed.

Across the UK, horrified people agreed that it may as well be a thousand.

Tom Logan, a sales consultant from Peterborough, said: “Jesus Christ. Why is it taking so long?”

Margaret Gerving, a retired headmistress from Guildford, added: “Oh no. Oh please, no. In the name of God almighty.

“I implore the people of Scotland to imagine that the rest of the UK is a badly injured fawn. Please just snap our fragile neck.”

Bill McKay, from Edinburgh, said: “Fuck the pair of you, I have to live here.”