MITT Romney has relaunched his campaign with a direct appeal to America’s fundamental stupidity.
A new television advert shows the Republican candidate frowning at a quick crossword, laughing hysterically at Charlie Sheens new sitcom Anger Management and reaffirming his Mormonism.
Meanwhile, large-print newspaper ads will carry slogans including ‘Mitt Do White House Good’ and ‘Free Pizza’.
Speaking into a switched-off microphone in the wrong room of a conference centre in Canada, Romney said: “No other candidate feel your dumbness like I be.
“These are stupid times, with stupid problems that need stupid solutions from a stupid man.
“I will do the stuff you want, whatever it is you want. Even if you don’t know what you want, and I don’t know either.”
Romney then boarded a flight to Greenland which was forced to make an emergency landing after the candidate attempted to remove one of the windows with a spoon.