Stupid times require stupid solutions, says Romney

MITT Romney has relaunched his campaign with a direct appeal to America’s fundamental stupidity.

If God wanted Mitt to be clever He'd have made him that way

A new television advert shows the Republican candidate frowning at a quick crossword, laughing hysterically at Charlie SheenÂ’s new sitcom Anger Management and reaffirming his Mormonism.

Meanwhile, large-print newspaper ads will carry slogans including ‘Mitt Do White House Good’ and ‘Free Pizza’.

Speaking into a switched-off microphone in the wrong room of a conference centre in Canada, Romney said: “No other candidate feel your dumbness like I be.

“These are stupid times, with stupid problems that need stupid solutions from a stupid man.

“I will do the stuff you want, whatever it is you want. Even if you don’t know what you want, and I don’t know either.”

Romney then boarded a flight to Greenland which was forced to make an emergency landing after the candidate attempted to remove one of the windows with a spoon.