THE Syrian ceasefire means refugees have no reason not to go back to the blasted ruins of their homes, say European leaders.
The ceasefire, which does not include ISIS, other assorted terrorist maniacs or the Russian Air Force, has been hailed as great news for Syrians keen to pick up a broom and start cleaning.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel said: “Click your heels together three times, because there’s no place like home.
“President Assad says all is forgiven and that whole Arab Spring thing was just a silly misunderstanding.
“And every refugee will get a complimentary tub of Polyfilla to repair any bulletholes in the walls.
“Anyway, off you go! It was lovely having you.”
Syrian Mohammed Zedan said: “I was a restaurateur in Aleppo, so I thought that maybe I should hold back until the infrastructure is rebuilt a little.
“But apparently restaurants are key to gentrifying rundown areas, so that should help to reduce the street-to-street fighting.”