This long tunnel proves we are sexy, say Swiss

BUILDING the longest tunnel in the world proves that Switzerland is a sexy and desirable nation, says the country’s president. 

The 35-mile-long tunnel, also the world’s deepest, was constructed entirely to re-establish Switzerland’s reputation as alluring and seductive. 

Johann Schneider-Ammann, current president of the Swiss Confederation, said: “They say the French are hot, and all of Eastern Europe is thought attractive because their economic woes mean they are disproportionately represented in pornography.

“Meanwhile the Swiss, very attractive in a classy, understated way, are overlooked, known only for hoarding Nazi and FIFA gold. 

“Well, this tunnel is long, it is deep, and it can take even the biggest train and still want more. It also links some freight routes or something, but that’s not important.”

Nathan Muir of Leatherhead said: “I have never slept with a Swiss woman before, but now I must. I will woo them with Toblerones.”