THE parents of a 45-year-old vegetarian woman are confident that she will soon start eating meat again.
Although Emma Bradford has staunchly refused to eat any form of animal flesh for three decades, her parents continue to serve her meat at every available opportunity.
Father Tom Bradford said: “She’s only doing it because her friends are all doing it, or at least they were in 1988.
“Tomorrow she will snap out of it and admit that she’s craving a nice bacon sandwich, like someone waking from a coma.”
He added: “She won’t even eat chicken and that’s not meat, it’s poultry.”
Emma Bradford said: “It gets a bit frustrating digging the hidden pieces of meat out of my mashed potato and picking them out of my wine.
“Sometimes my mum does her ‘don’t vegetables have feelings too?’ argument which frankly isn’t that strong as carrots don’t even have faces.”
Tom Bradford added: “I am quite confident it’s why her marriage failed, and I often tell her that because it’s my way of being a good parent.
“I’d actually rather she was into drugs because at least we could still sit down together and talk about the variable quality of Tesco sausages.”