Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Trump agrees to leave White House for drive-thru McDonald's

PRESIDENT Trump has agreed to leave the White House in order to collect a Big Mac meal from a Washington DC drive-thru McDonald’s. 

The move, which Democrats have hailed as a concession and Republicans claim does not affect ongoing electoral court proceedings, comes after weeks of tense negotiations with the outgoing president.

Trump told Fox News: “This big, beautiful Big Mac meal has to be one of the best trade deals that has ever happened in the history of our great country.

“In a truly momentous moment for me and America, I have struck a deal that will allow me to leave D.C with my head held high and my mouth covered in signature Big Mac sauce.

“Sleepy Joe Biden never orders McDonald’s, because he’s the liberal elite. He doesn’t understand the incredible system of ordering over the speaker, paying at the next window and collecting at the last because he’s out of touch with ordinary Americans who voted for me, by the way.

“The Secret Service, who entirely back me as does every member of the US military, will be treated to a McFlurry each. That’s on me, okay? That’s on me.

“It’s been an honour to serve this country, as it will be an honour to be served a meal of overcooked hamburger meat in tribute to being the greatest president of all time.”