Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Trump backs down on nuking hurricanes 'because it could release three super-villains from the Phantom Zone'

DONALD Trump has ditched plans to fire a nuclear missile at a hurricane after officials told him it would rupture the Phantom Zone, releasing a trio of super-villains.

Trump had insisted that ‘hurricane bombing’ was entirely safe, but backed down when the Pentagon warned him the would be forced to kneel before General Zod.

A source said: “It was touch and go because he thought he had a chance with the the short-haired female super-villain. But ultimately he is terrified of Zod.

“He also said he wants to buy Greenland so he can turn the Fortress of Solitude into ‘classy resort’.”

A White House spokesman said: “The president kneels before no-one. He just dropped his keys in front of Vladimir Putin, that’s all.”