DONALD Trump is refusing to return from Mexico after discovering how much better it is than America.
Trump travelled to Mexico to meet President Pena Niento but quickly found the country so much more suited to his needs that he has resolved never to return.
He said: “No building regulations, no gun laws, the Coke’s made with cane sugar and the weather is fantastic.
“Why waste effort making America great again when just a few miles south there’s a country that’s already great without so many whiny white people? I’ve already picked out a new wife.
“And there’s no immigration problem here. Though I’m still going to build that wall but now the US is going to pay for it.”
President Pena Niento said: “I guess we take the rest of America’s trash, so whatever.”