Trump kindly grants world a holiday from mental shit

PRESIDENT Trump has generously granted the world a 24-hour break from his onslaught of lunatic behaviour. 

Across the world, people are waking up to find no news of unhinged executive orders, deranged calls to world leaders or beserk Twitter threats and are overwhelmed with relief.

Nathan Muir of Stockton-on-Tees said: “This is better than Christmas.

“I hadn’t realised how accustomed I’d become to checking the doom device, as I call my phone now, half-asleep then spending all day weighed down by the burden of whatever the psychopath leading the free world had done now.

“Instead I’ve got a spring in my step, a smile on my face, and who knows I might make it to the end of the day without my head in my hands murmuring ‘Oh God oh God we’re all going to die’.”

Muir added: “It’s war tomorrow, I imagine. I’ll just enjoy the break while I can.”