Vegas trip now compulsory for tossers

A WEEK in Vegas has become a rite of passage for tosser blokes, it has emerged.

Men who are too into themselves confirmed that a ‘lads’ week’ in Las Vegas was now essential for anyone hoping to become a fully-fledged tosspot.

Estate agent Stephen Malley said: “I am a massive tosser, which is something I’m proud of. But I don’t take any younger wannabe tossers seriously until they’ve ‘dropped £8k in a night’ in a massive corporate casino with no windows.

“I’m all about wasting large sums of money, claiming to drink more than I actually did and then sleeping with a prostitute who steals my trousers.

“Vegas baby!”

Office worker Tom Logan said: “My boss constantly boasts about how he spent a five-figure sum in one night on a Blackjack table.

“But from the way he explained it, it became clear that he just didn’t understand the rules and was essentially bragging about being a stupid idiot.

“Also, Blackjack is really just Pontoon.”