PRESIDENT Trump gave a dazzling hour-long off-the-cuff speech to the United Nations yesterday which every true conservative watched in full. What was the best bit?
Nathan Muir, French polisher: “When he gave it to the escalators. F**king escalators, ruining our lives. F**king shops that have escalators up but only stairs down. Scourge of the world. I’m a single-issue voter.”
Margaret Gerving, retired: “The moment he told us all we’re going to hell. So much more authoritative coming from a fake-tanned grifter with a history of divorce and sexual assault instead of, say, the Pope.”
Roy Hobbs, hull repairer: “Boasting he’s brought $17 trillion in investment to the US. Biden didn’t even know numbers that high.”
Emma Bradford, osteopath: “It’s awesome he’s still angry about a failed bid to renovate the UN building decades ago. I hope that, if I’m ever that successful, I stay that petty.”
Hannah Tomlinson, caricaturist: “He said ‘To protect our citizens, I’ve also designated multiple savage drug cartels as forest.’ Starmer will never have that kind of vision.”
