Tuesday, 11th May 2021

We wouldn't have made you speak German, say Germans

A NAZI occupation of Britain would not have included compulsory German lessons, Germans have confirmed.

After professional twat Piers Morgan repeated the claim, Germans said there was no historical basis for it and the Wehrmacht would have been “busy with war stuff”.

Rolf Schmidt, an accountant from Stuttgart said: “If British wankers are going to keep banging on about the war in fucking 2019, could they at least get their facts right?

“If German troops had overrun Britain there would have been slightly more pressing tasks such as dealing with the resistance and getting ready to invade Russia, which is quite big.

“German night classes would not have been a priority, although given your pitiful language skills we would probably have been doing you a favour.”

However pensioner Roy Hobbs said: “They’d have made the entire population do German and if you failed an exam you’d be shot. They have an insatiable Teutonic thirst for conquest, which is why they hog the sun loungers.

“I feel that is a normal thing to say 73 years after the war.”