Yanis Varoufakis to become mysterious tough drifter

GREECE’S former finance minister has unveiled plans to ride around on his motorbike having martial arts battles with local villains.

The freewheeling politician said he will go to whichever small town needs his help, taking manly temporary jobs like labourer or nightclub bouncer and standing up for locals against corrupt local bosses and their heavies.

He said: “I will ride into town, get a room in a local boarding house and establish a simmering sexual chemistry with the widowed but still beautiful landlady.

“Then I go into a bar where toughs in sleeveless denim shirts are harassing the waitresses. I beat them up using a mixture of kung fu and kickboxing techniques, stopping short of killing them because I hate violence.

“The elderly owner, who has a beautiful daughter, buys me a drink while explaining that the town is in the iron grip of someone called Mayor Angelis who everybody lives in fear of. To which I say something like ’not any more’.

“Then I either go and beat up all the villains in a spectacular battle, or decide to just ride off at that point leaving everything in a worse mess than before.”