Sunday, 16th May 2021

Yorkshire should be an independent state, says rest of UK

THE county of Yorkshire should become an independent state, the rest of the UK has urged.

Campaigner Kate Logan said: “Yorkshire will of course get its own parliament, although nothing would get done because they’d be too busy tossing each other off over how great they are.

“They’d say things like ‘My honourable friend, I put forward a motion that the sun shines directly out of all our anuses’ and it would get passed unanimously while their economy goes into recession”.

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said “For everyone else, the county they grew up in is just that, the county they grew up in. But for people from Yorkshire it’s some sort of magical paradise that gives them godlike powers.

“To be fair, Yorkshire’s economy is twice the size of Wales but then again so is the ego of one single Yorkshireman.

“Sure, you’ve given the world the Yorkshire pudding. And we’re so thankful for that. But how does that give you the confidence of a man who’s shat himself on a first date and still expects to get laid?”