Sunday, 9th May 2021

'You do realise we're all in France?' say teachers

TEACHERS have reminded the government that they are all in France, will need to quarantine for 14 days and school starting in September is completely f**ked. 

The new quarantine rules imposed on France mean that 90 per cent of Britain’s educators will be self-isolating until the middle of next month, resulting in schools having to open with class sizes of 150-300. 

Secondary school teacher Joanna Kramer said: “Well I’m sorry. But it’s not as if we make a secret of it. 

“The job’s shit but we get long holidays so as soon as term ends we load up our Volvos and drive to the Dordogne for six weeks in a gîte drinking red wine and eating malodorous cheeses. That’s what being a teacher is all about. 

“Certainly I could give up the last two weeks of my paid-for accommodation, load the car, scramble up to Calais and pay over the odds for Le Shuttle home, just so I can be back for the first day of term. 

“Or – and I think this is more likely – I could say ‘f**k that’, carry on with my holiday, arrive back as scheduled and have an extra fortnight off. 

“You’ve spent three months calling me a lazy, shirking bastard after all. So I wouldn’t want to let you down.”