GREEK king of the gods Zeus has warned his mortal subjects that he is not up for any sort of confrontation with Angela Merkel.
After the country voted a resounding yes to no, the leader of its pantheon of mountain-dwelling immortals said that Greece was on its own when it came to fending off the German leader.
Zeus said: “I’ve already done what I could with Merkel, turning into a swan and then flying through her open bedroom window with plans for a bit of seduction.
“Turns out that she sleeps surrounded by massive German dogs, the black and brown ones with heads like anvils. They are trained to attack testicles first, then the throat, or so I discovered.”
Angela Merkel said: “Nobody gets past Kaiser and Dustin, least of all a massive horny swan. I know all about you Greeks and your supernatural ways.
“You can release the kraken if you want. I shit your kraken.”
Zeus added: “There’s something unearthly about that woman, sorry but if she comes for the money then I’m staying up here, playing chess.”