International

THERE’S a trade war on the way, and it’s going to be brilliant. Norman Steel explains how we will bring the Hun to his knees by not selling him pork pies.

ENVIOUS of Americans for their late November festivities? Here’s five homegrown traditions that will make you glad you were born British.

AMERICANS have vaguely heard there are other cultures but believe it just rumour. Here’s what they lose their shit about in the UK.

THE EU has announced that whatever it is if it makes Britain f**k off then it is worth it.

THE UK has stopped aggressively telling non-nationals to f**k off out of it and has started aggressively demanding they come back.

THE president of the United States has been visited by a ghoulish apparition bearing an uncanny resemblance to ‘that dickhead Trump’.

A FRIEND has asked if you have any recollection of the most tragic and monumental event of the twenty-first century so far.

THE last flight has left Afghanistan. The occupation has ended. But one question still troubles millions of caring Britons: have we done enough to save the budgies of Kabul?

THE events in Afghanistan are a tragedy and Joe Biden is to blame, according to all the people who directly caused them.

WHO the bloody hell would appoint a 1980s cricketer as trade envoy to Australia? Only Boris Johnson, and only to troll you. Here’s why I’m completely unqualified.