Wednesday, 12th May 2021

Are you a toddler? Take our quiz

ALWAYS whinging? Unable to understand basic concepts like ‘bedtime’ and ‘rain’? You might be a toddler. Take our quiz to find out.

What is the first thing you do in the morning?

A) Get up, go to the bathroom and get dressed.

B) Scream.

What’s your ideal lunch?

A) A freshly-made brie, rocket and bacon sandwich.

B) Two bites of whatever food I’m given and then something I found on the floor.

Do you have any hobbies?

A) Yes, hiking, going to the cinema and craft beer.

B) Yes, throwing the Playmobil grandma got me for Christmas at the living room wall and hitting the cat.

Do you consider yourself independent?

A) Yes, I have a job and can pay just about all of my bills.

B) Yes, I can be left alone for a whole two seconds before I start trying to put a fork in the DVD player.

What’s your goal in life?

A) To be happy and relaxed.

B) To ensure that no-one else can be happy or relaxed unless I am asleep.

Mostly As: Unfortunately, you are not a toddler and you’ll have to wake up tomorrow morning and go to work. You may also have a toddler, for an extra kick in the teeth.

Mostly Bs: Congratulations, you are a toddler. Enjoy it while it lasts. There’s only so long your parents will tolerate you because wearing funny little clothes is cute.